“Sometimes, you need to step outside, get some air and remind yourself who you are and who you want to be.”

– Unknown Author, but it sounds like something my dear Momma would say

Perspective and balance are photography terms referring to the angle of view, composition and general feel of a photograph. They help define the message the photograph sends, and the purpose for taking it in the first place. These things can be manipulated and controlled to reach the desired result.

Today, I was reminded that those words are even more important in “life” than in photography and how easily I lose sight of that. Since beginning photography school, I have been consumed by assignments, time pressures, perfectionism, lack of confidence, stress, and many sleepless nights worrying about all of the above. Most days, I “do” photography for 14 hours only to fall into bed and fitfully worry about all I didn’t finish or all I could’ve done better. In the midst of the chaos, I absolutely lose my perspective and the only balance I have is a precarious perch near the edge of (in)sanity.

I saw this week a commentary that pointed out how we all make choices every day. We choose whether to be kind or unkind, to eat healthy or live on Cook Out milkshakes, to enrich our minds or watch Friends for the 200th time, and to choose to exercise or collapse on the couch at days end. I generally default to the poorest of choices – especially when I am stressed and busy (the bad examples listed above may or may not have come from personal experience).

My body is telling me to do better. My heart is telling me to breathe Time is telling me to relax and enjoy. My faith is telling me to remember what matters.

Of course, just writing this down doesn’t mean I am now suddenly balanced and have proper perspective on things, but it does mean I’m am realizing that, just as in photography, my choices can be manipulated and controlled to reach the desired result. The question is . . . what is important enough to consume me and what is not?

“Deciding means jumping in all the way, doing whatever it takes, and going after your dreams with the tenacity of a dateless cheerleader a week before prom night.”  -Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

I started to give you my life history but I wanted you to keep reading so I rethought that.  Just photography here.  Let’s just say, I did other stuff for a long time and now I’m starting photography.

I confess, I am a longtime user of the ever popular point and shoot camera and I proudly carted more than a few disposable cameras to the local photo kiosk to view my creations!  If something was happening, I was there with my “camera” taking photos with reckless abandon.  You could count on me to get a picture.  You could bet it would be mediocre, but that was better than nothing, right?  I have albums full of blurry images, soccer players the size of mosquitoes in the frame, unlit faces, blown out backgrounds and unidentifiable people and events galore (yep, I not only kept them all, I put them in albums!)  I would get so frustrated at why I couldn’t get photos like Nat Geo or Sports Illustrated (seriously, with my point and shoot?).  I knew I could do better because I had seen what other people could do.  Every now and then I got a gem, but I had no idea why and certainly no idea how to do it again.   But who had the time to learn mad photography skills?  Not me! – remember I was doing all the other stuff!!

Then I got an Iphone.  Let’s face it, they and the cameras available nowadays do a pretty awesome job automatically and arguably have their place in the world.  But I still found myself in situations where I could not get that shot and I settled for an average one.  Still frustrated.  Still busy.

Well, as life tends to go – some of that other stuff was no longer around, or as time consuming and I got to thinking . . . “Hmmmmm . . . . I need some more stuff to do!”  I started  pulling out unfinished projects and clearing closets and literally everywhere I looked I found those frustrating, mediocre photos.  I would wonder if that photo was really a bear in the woods or my aunt on vacation.  Don’t tell her I said that.  I so wished I had better photos of the “stuff” I spent all those years doing. Hmmm . . . . what to do with the rest of my life???

     As I pondered this question and wondered how I might find a way to contribute meaningfully to the universe, it hit me like a ton of old photos falling from a shelf (that may or may not have really happened). The clouds parted and a revelation came. . . . why not finally learn!  I mean really learn to take not just better photos, but GREAT ones!  I decided to believe I could.  I immediately called Randolph Community College Photographic Technology Department, spoke to department head, Kevin Eames, requested a tour, graciously provided by Erin Arsenault,  and soon after an application.  And that is where the magic is currently happening.   I am sharing a photo from my point and shoot days on this first post so we can compare later.  Looks like I’ll have to go back to Cinque Terre after I graduate for the before and after!!